I Think I’m Autistic or Have ADHD as an Adult. What Comes Next?

Exploring Adult ADHD or Autism: Guidance From a Neurodivergent-Affirming Vancouver Counsellor

Written by: Kristie Burkett, MACP, RCC, CCC

Many adults reach a point where they start to wonder if they might be autistic or have ADHD. Sometimes this happens through a child’s assessment, through friends, or simply because patterns that never made sense suddenly become clearer. If this is where you are, it is completely normal to have questions.

If you are looking for support during this process, you can learn more here: swellcounsellingservices.ca

Noticing Your Own Experiences

A helpful place to start is simply paying attention to the moments that feel familiar or confusing in your daily life. For many adults, this is the first time they have slowed down enough to notice their patterns without judging themselves. You might begin to see how you respond in social situations, how you manage stress, or how much energy it takes to get through a regular day. You may realize that certain environments feel tiring, or that you need more time alone than other people in your life. These small observations can offer important clues about how your brain and body work.

You might also notice long-standing themes from your past. Maybe you remember being called sensitive, distracted, intense, or shy. Maybe you were the child who worked very hard to stay organized, or the teen who needed extra recovery time after school or social events. Some people remember always feeling out of step with others, even if they could not explain why. Others remember doing well in certain areas while struggling silently in others. These memories can help you understand that your experiences have a story behind them.

As you pay closer attention, you may discover that your reactions make more sense than you once thought. You might notice that you feel overwhelmed in busy places, or that your thoughts move quickly, or that you lose track of time without meaning to. You may notice how much effort it takes to appear calm or put-together when things feel difficult inside. You might also notice moments of deep focus, creativity, empathy, or unique problem-solving skills that have always been part of you.

Learning from Neurodivergent Voices

Many adults learn a lot from people who have lived experience with neurodivergence. Many people start to wonder if they may be neurodivergent because social media has opened up more discussion around neurodivergence, normalizing it and making information more accessible. Books, podcasts, and online creators can offer stories that feel familiar and grounding. These stories can help you understand your own experiences in a new way.

Thinking About Diagnosis

Some adults choose a formal assessment because it brings clarity, validation, or access to accommodations. Others choose not to pursue a diagnosis and still benefit from support. There is no right or wrong choice. You can explore your identity, learn strategies, and seek counselling with or without a diagnosis.

If you are curious about diagnosis, a helpful place to start is noticing what you want from it. Some people want answers because they have spent years feeling different without knowing why. Some want support at work or school. Others want to understand why certain experiences feel harder than they do for other people. Thinking about your reasons can make the next step feel clearer.

From there, you can talk with a family doctor, a psychologist, or another professional who understands neurodivergence. They can explain what an assessment looks like and what it can or cannot tell you. Some assessments feel structured and detailed. Others are more conversational. The goal is usually to understand how your brain works, not to label you in a negative way.

Many adults choose not to pursue a diagnosis right away. They focus instead on learning about their patterns, reducing stress, understanding their sensory needs, or working through past experiences. Therapy can help you explore these questions at your own pace, whether or not you decide to seek an assessment. A diagnosis can be part of your story, but it does not define you, and you do not need one to access support or feel accepted.

Understanding Your Nervous System

ADHD and autism often show up as nervous system differences. You might notice that busy environments are hard, emotions feel strong, or stress lingers longer than expected. You may need more recovery time or notice that sensory details affect you more than others. These experiences are important information about how your brain and body work.

Recognizing Masking and Burnout

Many adults who explore neurodivergence have spent years masking. Masking means trying to appear fine, calm, social, or organized even when things feel difficult inside. Over time this can lead to burnout. Burnout often shows up as exhaustion, irritability, shutting down, or losing capacity for things you used to manage.

Therapy can help you understand this process with compassion. If you are interested in support, you can learn more here: swellcounsellingservices.ca

Exploring Support That Fits You

Therapy can be a supportive place to understand yourself more fully, especially when you are exploring ADHD or autism as an adult. Many people arrive feeling confused, overwhelmed, or unsure how to organize everything they are noticing. Talking things through with someone who understands neurodivergence can help you make sense of your patterns in a way that feels safe and grounded.

In therapy, you can explore what your nervous system needs, what drains you, and what helps you feel steady. You might look at how you communicate, how you cope with stress, and the expectations that have shaped you over time. Some people use therapy to understand their relationships better. Others want help setting boundaries, supporting their own children, or figuring out how to move through the world with less pressure.

Therapy can also help you unpack experiences that have felt heavy or confusing for a long time. If you have been masking, pushing through burnout, or carrying old shame, therapy can give you a place to process these moments with compassion. For some people, EMDR can be helpful in reducing the emotional impact of past experiences.

You do not need a diagnosis to benefit from therapy. You simply need a place where you feel understood, respected, and able to explore who you are without judgment. Support can help you feel more confident, more settled, and more connected to yourself as you move through this part of your life.

You Are Not Late to This

Many adults discover they are neurodivergent later in life. It is never too late to understand yourself or to seek support that fits who you are. You can take your time, move at your own pace, and reach out when you feel ready.

If you want to connect, you can start with a consult here: swellcounselling.janeapp.com.