ADHD Awareness Month: ADHD 101 (With a Twist)

When most people hear the term ADHD, they imagine a restless little boy bouncing off classroom walls. But ADHD - Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder - is far more complex, nuanced, and diverse than the stereotypes suggest. It's not a personality quirk, a moral failing, or an excuse for laziness. It's a neurodevelopmental condition that affects people of all genders, across the lifespan, often in ways that aren't immediately visible to the outside world.

Why This Matters to Me (and My Work)

I didn't receive my own ADHD diagnosis until 2022. By then, I had been working in private practice for three years, supporting clients with people-pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, disordered eating, and communication challenges (to name a few). As client after client - many of them women or AFAB folks - began sharing their own ADHD diagnoses, I noticed how much of their experience resonated and overlapped with my own.

It led me to reflect on something I tell new therapists: we tend to specialize in work that is often autobiographical. That self-reflection ultimately brought me to pursue my own assessment. The result was both relief and grief laden.

Learning I had ADHD helped me soften towards myself, dismantle internalized ableism, and reframe shame into self-understanding. It also sparked a professional niche that I never could have planned: to support other ADHD'ers and neurodivergent folks. Out of this, a collaboration was born - and Unmasking YYJ came to life.

Myths, Masking, and Misunderstanding

Two of the stereotypes that frustrate me most:

• that ADHD isn't real (as if it's a mythical creature rather than a well documented neurological condition).

• that people who are "successful" or "high functioning" can't possibly have it

What these statements ignore is the toll of masking. Many people with ADHD (myself included) have become skilled at keeping the outward signs of struggle from impacting others. But behind that mask often lies intense anxiety, grief, shame, and even self-hatred.

As both a therapist and a person with ADHD, I've seen how ableist comments - "you don't look ADHD," "just try harder," "everyone's a little distractible" - can reinforce damaging narratives. They add to the already heavy burden of shame and erode self-esteem, self-trust, and self-compassion.

The Hard Parts & the Gifts

ADHD comes with challenges. Among the hardest:

• living with deeply ingrained shame and self-doubt

• narrow windows of tolerance, where small stressors feel overwhelming

• believing the story that you're "just not trying hard enough"

And yet, the ADHD community holds remarkable gifts:

• creativity and out-of-the-box problem solving

• passion for justice, belonging, and connection

• a fierce desire to make the world more inclusive

• and maybe most underrated of all - we're funny. Truly, ADHD'ers have some of the sharpest wit and humour I've encountered, and it keeps me grounded in joy.

Why Awareness Needs to Go Deeper

October is ADHD Awareness Month (according to Children and Adults w/ ADHD; CHADD), and it isn't just about putting ADHD on peoples' radar. Awareness without compassion and acceptance can still leave people feeling unseen or invalidated. What's needed is a shift toward understanding, accommodation, and celebration of neurodivergent ways of being.

For many of my clients, the work is about unlearning shame and reclaiming self-worth. In the counselling room, that might look like grief over missed diagnoses, dismantling stories of "not enough" and/or "too much,"or learning how to practice self-compassion in a world that wasn't designed for our brains.

This is why it matters to me to speak up (and out) - as a clinician, yes, but also as a fellow ADHD'er. When we trade stereotypes for empathy, we create space for healing, resilience, and the joy of being unapologetically ourselves.

Further Reading & Resources

• Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) – Education, advocacy, and resources.

  👉 https://chadd.org

• ADDitude Magazine – Practical strategies, personal stories, and expert advice.

  👉 https://www.additudemag.com

• ADHD Canada – Canadian resources, education, and advocacy.

  👉 https://adhdcanada.ca

• Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada (CADDAC) – Support and advocacy for ADHD across the lifespan.

  👉 https://caddac.ca

• Understood.org – Resources for parents, adults, and educators navigating ADHD and learning differences.

  👉 https://www.understood.org

• Podcast: “I Have ADHD” with Kristen Carder – Real talk about ADHD and self-compassion.

  👉 https://ihaveadhdpodcast.com

• Book: ADHD 2.0 by Edward Hallowell & John Ratey (2021) – New science, strategies, and hope.

  👉 https://drhallowell.com/adhd-2-0

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Faraone, S. V., Asherson, P., Banaschewski, T., Biederman, J., Buitelaar, J. K., Ramos-Quiroga, J. A., Rohde, L. A., Sonuga-Barke, E. J., Tannock, R., & Franke, B. (2015). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Nature Reviews Disease Primers, 1, 15020. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrdp.2015.20

Hinshaw, S. P., & Ellison, K. S. (2016). ADHD: What everyone needs to know. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Kooij, S. J., Bejerot, S., Blackwell, A., Caci, H., Casas-Brugué, M., Carpentier, P. J., Edvinsson, D., … Asherson, P. (2010). European consensus statement on diagnosis and treatment of adult ADHD: The European Network Adult ADHD. BMC Psychiatry, 10(1), 67. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244X-10-67